2:04 am Nov. 23rd, 2017
You know it’s bad
when you’d rather fake it
than keep on feeling like crap any longer.
When you’d rather pretend everything’s fine
because that’s easier than trying to deal with the problem.
But that’s what happens.
You have a problem.
It begins to grow
It grows so much that eventually it becomes too much,
But you dwell on that pain.
You practically thrive on self destruction.
And then you find yourself growing tired.
Tired of trying to get over this.
Tired of wishing and wanting things to change.
Tired of everything.
Until one day you sit down on the sofa,
and silently stare at the last words on the last page of your favorite book,
and you realize how much you just don’t care anymore.
You realize how hard life is and how hard you’ve made it on yourself
and that’s when you decide one of two things.
The first option is the most common;
the easy way.
This is when you put that book down,
crawl into your bed,
You give up.
And you’re gone.
You spend the rest of your life wallowing in your sorrow and pain,
you give up on life and any hope of ever being happy
and believe me,
you never will be.
But the second option,
that’s the one less chosen.
The more difficult way.
When you flip back to the beginning of that book and read it again
because maybe the ending wont be so sad the next time you read it.
You get up
and make yourself a warm cup of coffee,
you eat something.
You’ll throw on your favorite outfit.
You do your hair,
you do your makeup.
even if it’s fake.
You take a few deep breaths.
And at the end of the day,
you might actually be happy.
Even if it’s just a little bit.
Because being happy doesn’t just happen on its own.
You choose to be happy.
And one day,
you’ll be happy without even trying.